If you think you are beaten, you are;
if you think you dare not, you don't;
if you'd like to win, but you think you can't,
it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
for out in the world you find
success begins with a person's will.
It's all in the state of the mind.
If you think you're outclassed, you are;
you've got to think high to rise;
you've got to be sure of yourself before
you can ever win the prize.
Many a race is lost
before a step is run;
and many a coward fails
before ever his work's begun.
Think big and your deeds will grow;
think small and you'll fall behind;
think that you can and you will.
It's all in the state of the mind.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO, What a Ride!!"
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO, What a Ride!!"
Rhymes of Love??????
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line....
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel, your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag, off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you, screwed up my life.
I see your face, when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in, to smell this way?
My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel, your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag, off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you, screwed up my life.
I see your face, when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in, to smell this way?
My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Poetry in our time
I am delighted to inform you that Kritya has published my poems.
Let me live, a poem by MVJ Simon
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A Mid-summer's Daydream
Let me live, a poem by MVJ Simon
Search
A Mid-summer's Daydream
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