Thought-waves

Thoughts surge in waves unrelenting
Roaring as it crashes
Into the hard rock of my mind
Grey and withered with time

Sometimes I wish I could crumble
And be washed away with the waves
Disappearing into the depths
Carried away into oblivion

To a place so tranquil
As still as the waters in the ocean
Into the depths unseen and unknown
Masked by it’s deceitful surface

Thoughts surge again in my mind
Bringing with it some surprises
Remembrances, memories
Then it recedes as quick as it came

Storm clouds gather warning me of impending rain
That will lash out furious in sweet pain
In torrents accompanied by lightning
And a thunderous deep rumble

Thoughts charge in furiously
Into every crevice, every nook
Leaving me choked, gasping
Then they recede and leave

While I remain

Washed and cleansed…
with every wave





A Poem by MVJ Simon

It’s just that I am more human.

I can sense the distaste in your stare
The way you look away when you see
I sense arrogance in the way you move
Away from me, always at arm’s length

I see through your false smile
That stops at your lip, eyes so cold
I know that you don’t like me
But yet you pretend, that we belong

I sense that you just tolerate
It’s part of your manners, your class, your breed
You pretend so well, my dear friend
But sometimes, these masks, they slip away

Just because you’re light, your pigments so bright
You think you’re a finer man
It is not so, just an accident
It goes deep, more than skin, if you must know

Just because you brag a lot
And announce to the world that you’re so hot
It doesn’t mean a thing, my dear friend,
Maybe I just like to be cool and so quiet.

Just because you speak another tongue
It’s just another language, my dear friend
You forget it’s a tool our forefathers made
Just so we can be friends, my dear friend.

Just because you possess a lot
It really won’t make you a better man
Maybe you have been more greedy
And you collected more, my dear friend

Just because your God isn’t mine
And mine is mine alone
We’ll fight and kill for the glory
That awaits us both in heaven

Just because you’re so dumb
You’ve been used and abused
By leaders of men, self proclaimed
You deserve it, my friend, for being so!

Just because I’ve been mute
Just because I like to be quiet
Just because I am so silent
Just because I am more gentle

It doesn’t mean I am a lesser man in any way
Nor am I a lesser woman.

It’s just that I am more human.










A Poem by MVJ Simon. 2008

It goes beyond words!

It goes beyond words
This thing I feel
I just can’t explain
Just look me in the eye
And you will know
It goes beyond words

This numbness
I just can’t describe
Words welling up
Stuck somewhere beneath
My throat –
It goes beyond words

The tears held back
Restrained
Filling up the eyelids
Trembling
It goes beyond words
You will never know

This silence
So eloquent
Heavy and laden
With meaning
It goes beyond words
You know

This air I breathe
Your presence, your whiff
My mind recalls
Long lost fragrance
Of a love once was
It goes beyond words

Maybe I am wrong
The feeling’s just too strong
Maybe it’s still there inside
A flame burning so bright
Scorching


It goes beyond words
It goes beyond words







A Poem by MVJ Simon

A Walk along the Lakeside

Walking along the lakeside
Sweet mist in the air
Clouding my vision
I see no reason to look afar

Time stands still
Moments so precious and rare
Watch stops to stare
Wondering why the slave smiles

The tang of pepper
Coffee blooms and cardamom
Overpower the smell of wet earth
Moist with a light drizzle

The crunch of gravel below my boots
Creaking crickets and whispering wind
Raindrops drumming on red tiles
Green with moss and algae

I walk up the path into the forest
Tall giants of trees block my way
An umbrella gifted by God himself
As I sit in calm under its shade

The raindrops display valor
As they rage and thunder
Lightning flashes strike terror
And thunder roars with a deafening voice

I hunch myself and tuck my legs in
As I wait for the rain to subside
Strange that it’s dry around me
A circle of warmth from above

As I look up through the dense foliage
I see the sun emerge through the clouds
Droplets dripping from freshly washed leaves
Lazily, wondering whether to leap or not

The rays reach through the rustling leaves
Leaving shadows ever-changing
Whistling the wind blows again
Ruffling my neatly combed hair

I get up slowly from my resting place
I have to go, though I wonder why
I have to make a living in the city
While losing this life I’d rather have

Glimmer

Walk into the fire
Into flames that singe
Leap and lick
Eager to consume

Into that flaming core of rage
In that blaze, melt down
Melt with the heat
And flow down

Changing form and self
Molten liquid hotter than flame
Taking on a new form
A new shape, life anew

Out of the furnace
Glimmer now
No trace of rust
Shimmering glow

Years of disuse
Patina of age
Cleansed by fire
Emerge unscathed

Hard metal now
Solid steel core
Take me on
I’m game

Will never crack
Whatever the blow
Been through fire
That makes me strong

Flame

Self immolation

Isn’t that what you do everyday?

To spread some light around

And show them the way?



Blind fools groping in darkness

Stumbling…falling…getting hurt

If it were not for you

Throwing some light around…guiding them



Will they ever remember

That it was you who gave them light

At a time they were fumbling

Not knowing what lies ahead



Yet you burn yourself out

At pyre of knowledge

Sharing what you know

Without a care



Lighting many earthen lamps

With your burning flame

The room glows brighter

When eager young faces shine



You know you’ve done your job

When you don’t see them again next year

In your class, in this room

They’ve moved on to greater heights



Some day when they come back

And tell you how good you’ve been

Passing on the flame of knowledge

That made them who they are



Someday, when they forgive your chiding

and red welts on palms

And realize the pains you took

In making them learn



You’ll feel that’s it’s justified

Your troubles forgotten for a while

Someday, when the oil gets diminished

And the wick shortened



You’ll bask in the glow

Of a thousand lamps lit!

The road downhill

The road downhill
Winding snake-like, creeps
Making me want to just throw up
I shudder as I hurtle down
Deep gorges and valleys

Tight, I shut my eye.

Bumping over potholes
Aching back and numb mind
Eyes sleepless, red with rubbing
A rumbling belly drives me on

That’s all I can think of now!

Piercing through the darkness
Twin swathes of light beam the way
Don’t know what lies beyond

Just pitch darkness, not that I care

I close my eyes into a dreamless sleep
Tired and weary, it’s bliss for a while
Thrown and thrashed by jolts
I wake up with a start, to drift again
Somewhere down the road, the bumps cease
And I wake up in my favourite fantasy

Here I am in the big bad city!

I gaze up in disbelief
Towering high, in the skies above
Glistening in the sun, my eyes squint
I shade them with my cupped palm

My ears get used to the un-nerving din
The wail, cries and roar of the multitude
Voices crying to be heard
Louder and louder the wails
I hold my nose as the stench invades
Rotting dreams or putrid flesh?

The city smells of unwashed hopes
Of a million dreams of sweet success

I swing my rucksack on to my back
My knees buckle, yet I do not fall
Steady on my feet, I take those steps

Into the crowds, I lose myself!

The road downhill

The road downhill
Winding snake-like, creeps
Making me want to just throw up
I shudder as I hurtle down
Deep gorges and valleys

Tight, I shut my eye.

Bumping over potholes
Aching back and numb mind
Eyes sleepless, red with rubbing
A rumbling belly drives me on

That’s all I can think of now!

Piercing through the darkness
Twin swathes of light beam the way
Don’t know what lies beyond

Just pitch darkness, not that I care

I close my eyes into a dreamless sleep
Tired and weary, it’s bliss for a while
Thrown and thrashed by jolts
I wake up with a start, to drift again
Somewhere down the road, the bumps cease
And I wake up in my favourite fantasy

Here I am in the big bad city!

I gaze up in disbelief
Towering high, in the skies above
Glistening in the sun, my eyes squint
I shade them with my cupped palm

My ears get used to the un-nerving din
The wail, cries and roar of the multitude
Voices crying to be heard
Louder and louder the wails
I hold my nose as the stench invades
Rotting dreams or putrid flesh?

The city smells of unwashed hopes
Of a million dreams of sweet success

I swing my rucksack on to my back
My knees buckle, yet I do not fall
Steady on my feet, I take those steps

Into the crowds, I lose myself!

Dear, dear friend!

To let down all defense

To cast aside pretense

Let slip the mask

And just be yourself



Devoid of drama

Except for silly pranks

No use of tantrums

Simply won’t work



To laugh at each other

And still be together

To tease and admonish

Without fear of revenge



To know what he’s thinking

And do what’s to be done

No words needed

It’s understood



To walk beside each other

To be a true friend

Not leading, nor following

Just walking side by side



No fear of judgment

No ridicule

You’ve known me since ages

My dear, dear friend



Meeting after a decade

We pick up lost threads

No fumbling for words

We know where we left



There’s comfort in your presence

I know that you care

We may not see each other

But you’re always there



True friendships need no reasons

Logic or explanations

Deep down in your heart, you know

That it’s always been there



To let down all defenses

To cast aside all pretense

To let slip the mask

And just be yourself


A Poem by MVJ Simon / Bittersweet

Those flowers, so fresh!

As I lie pale and white

Those flowers on my chest so fresh

Mourners in black and white

Shedding right tears, in right measure



As I lie pale and white

I never knew I had friends so many

Would have been nice if they were around

While I was alive



As I lie pale and white

I never knew I was so good

Worthy of praise so kindly showered

It’s news I was the noblest!



As I lie pale and white

I know they’re so eager

To see who gets what

And share what’s left



As I lie pale and white

Shorn of gold even in my teeth

They just can’t wait

To share the divides



As I lie pale and white

I smile


By MVJ Simon / Bittersweet

It's fun being creative!

Grabbing an idea when it’s tossed
Running like mad till I reach the goal
The feeling is great as I score
One more hit, one more time

It’s fun making up stories
And rhyming when you’re bored
It’s great being creative
The sheer joy that’s so addictive

Playing around with colors
Splashing some paint around
Coaxing a tune out of a piano
Till my ears yell STOP!

Keying it all in font size twelve
And biting my nails waiting for comments
Doesn’t matter if none sees it
It’s fun being creative

Making sand castles on the beach
Watching the tide wash it away
Scooping up the wet sand again
Building where the castle once lay

The ones who watch say I am mad
Not listening to their words of wisdom
Making my mistakes and enjoying them
While I should have sat down and cried

It’s a crazy thought alright
The sea’s there, the sands too
The tide will rise and wane
But on the shore, I’ll keep playing

It’s fun being creative.



By MVJ Simon/ Bitter-sweet

Needs and desires

I got what I need

Then I knew I wanted more

I kept on wanting more

Till I got what I needed



Then I realized I want something else

Kept wanting something else

That’s not what I wanted

Once I had it in my hands



I kept chasing better

Till I got the best

The best didn’t seem so good

Now that it’s so near



Then I looked around to see

Whose is better than mine

Then it was just a question

Of mine being better always



Even that was tiring after a while

The stress of looking around

Then I said, to hell with it

I’ll be happy with what I have



But then again I looked around

And my wants and needs arose

Again I wanted something better

Better than what I have

I remember

Splashing turgid waters
Kicking hard to stay afloat
Sinking, gasping and then coming up
Coughing, spluttering, laughing
I remember

The muddy waters in a river full spate
Foaming when it hits the rock-face
Bubbling as it swirls and twirls
Frolicking briskly ahead
I remember

Proud silver oaks, ramrod straight
Row after row, in perfect lines
Plump jackfruit jostling for space
Squat coffee bushes pruned perfectly round
I remember

The air so clean, biting cold
Wisps of mist clouding my view
Shades of green all around
Dewdrops on leafs quivering
I remember

Moist earth laden with leaves
Squishy as I tread gently
Mushrooms wild on rotten tree trunks
Grabbing some space from lichen around
I remember

Orchids so rare blooming when they please
Unseen, unknown to man’s prying eyes
Clusters of bamboo leaning over the edge
Looking at the river as it flows carelessly below
I remember

Lying down on the soft green grass
Looking at the changing sky
Travelling clouds so busy and driven
They keep on moving, as though they must
I remember

Gentle breeze ruffling my hair
Blades of grass, bending softly below
Rays of sun playfully shines
Through rustling leaves caressed by breeze
I remember

I close my eyes and breathe deeply in
The fragrance of nature as I know it
So tender and nice, my resting place
It’s mine, forever
I remember

Golden Sunshine

Girl, you walked right in

Throwing wide open

Doors of my heavy heart

Lightening it with your laugh



Girl, you walked right in

Without an invite

No ringing bells

You barged in straight



Girl, like the golden sunshine

Passing through the sheer white curtain

Waking me up from deep slumber

Squinting my eyes with brightness



Girl, you breeze through life

With a naughty delight

Savouring all that’s nice

And spreading joy around



Girl, don’t grow up please

It’s a choice you can make

Just be the way you are

Not letting life break you



Girl, even when you pout and sulk

And throw nasty tantrums

I stifle my smile, look serious

You may never know why



Girl, you’re a dear little friend

Queen of drama

Princess of hearts

When you feel sad, so do I



Girl, just be the drop

Of golden sunshine

Just breeze through life

Spreading a warm glow around




By MVJ Simon/Bittersweet

An old Bungalow

An octagonal verandah
Wide steps below
Polished red oxide floor
Shining with a glow

A large leather settee set
A round table in the midst
With tiger claws at it’s feet
Clasping a globe

Brown wood all around
Smells really good
Framing French windows
With clear panels of glass

Etched in my memory
Looming the house stood
Once it was my home
Now it’s on my mind

In it’s place stands a tower
Glass and steel and chrome
Looks cold and menacing to me
Just doesn’t have the charm

Gone is the grass covered lawn
And the roses that surround
In it’s place is a car park
Space well utilized

They tell me it’s progress
Maybe I do agree
But somewhere in my heart's corner
Looms the old bungalow

Through life's raging storms

When life’s storm rages
And I have none beside
That’s when you arrive
My friend, who’s always there

Holding my hand
Assuring me it’s ok
Gently pulling me through
You’re there when I need you

That’s when I feel guilty
Not having acknowledged you
Your love for me shines through
Even though I had none for you

When life’s storms rage
And I need your help
You’ve always been there
Your hand around me

And once there’s peace
I forsake you
Yet, you remain
So loyal and true

True to my frailties
And deceitful nature
I am only human
And you’re so divine

Yet through life’s storms
You hold my hand
You’re always there
Friend in deed

You loved me so much
You gave your life for me
I’ve felt your presence
Through life’s raging storms

The Silent Sounds of Feelings

Muffled sobs


Gasping to be let out


Strangling you


Leaving you breathless


Silently




Clenching of jaws


Every tendon taut


A throb in temple


Blazing heat waves


Striking your face






A racing heart


Pounding loud


Warmth creeping up


From below ears


Eyes sparkling with love

Bitter-sweet

Brevity

Some wise man said
It’s the soul of wit

I do agree
Whole-heartedly

Coz I’m plain lazy!


Laziness

I would’ve composed
A fine love-song

I would’ve built
a Taj Mahal

For your love, anything, I say!


Free Speech

I speak from my heart
For I know not how to read!

Serves you right too
Coz you didn’t use your head!

When with your fingers, you pushed me into power!


Power

The more corrupt we are
The more powerful we become

Let’s all be corrupt
And make our nation the greatest

We’re well on our way!




The Way

Give a man the earth
He’ll blow it apart in minutes

Billions of years of civilization
He’ll raze to dust in seconds

And he’ll call it progress!


By MVJ Simon / Poet Bittersweet

Yesterday...

Just yesterday I was a child
Gazing in wonder at the twinkling stars

I wonder now when it was last
I looked at the inky black skies

Just yesterday I was chasing butterflies
Leaping after them in playful glee

I wonder now when I last laughed like that
And ran about, without a care

Just yesterday, my biggest thrill was an ice-stick
Licking it up before it melts

I wonder when, I’ll eat two at once
And have a moustache of milk

Just yesterday, I screamed at him
My voice used full, at its loudest

I wonder when I last shouted
I’ve been mum all the while

Just yesterday, I gave a hug
Without a care, while all are looking

I wonder why, I cannot show love
Innocence lost, hangs head in shame

Just yesterday, I feared boo-boos
Dark rooms and creepy lizards

I wonder where all fears vanished
And with it, the child in me!



A Poem by MVJ Simon / Poet Bittersweet

A tribute to a real woman

To love without conditions
To embrace without shame
To rise above barriers man-made
And live without guilt

To share without a thought
To lend without expectations
To care for humanity
And show what love really means

To touch poor hearts
To nourish them with hope
To nudge them into action
So they live a better life

To look beyond colour
To speak through actions
To listen without judging
When they look towards you

To live a life worthy
To open many eyes
To spread love where it's lacking
And making many see God

In frailty, you showed strength
In poverty, you saw rich hearts
In sickness, you were there
Through your life, you showed me the way.

Snowflake

Sparkling in the sunshine
Pristine, white and pure
I am a snowflake there
High up above them all

Clear and shining,
Refreshing and rippling
Melting at the sun’s request
Charging down beneath

The vigor of youth
Glorious power
As I hurtle down
Rocks be damned

Youth left behind
I start bloating up
As I lose my strength
And take life as it comes

I go with the flow
Accept all the muck
The rot and garbage
Flung daily at me

Vile and defiled
I’m black at heart
No life in me
Just feel like giving up

But nature has her rules
Being born a river
I must flow on and on
Till the day I merge with the mighty ocean

Will I be cleansed?
I do not know
Or will the ocean refuse me?
Saying I’m dirty, tainted and vile

I started out pure
Gurgling and laughing
Up there in the mountains

Deep down below, I still am.

Identity

As a baby, you picked me up


Held me upside down


And while I bawled


You started your discrimination






At school, you brought in caste


Sub-caste, creed, religion


When Gopi, Mathew, Iqbal


And Melissa were just my friends





When I went to college


You made me a professional


While all I wanted was to sing


Dance, paint and read





When I looked for a job


You looked at my skills


And how you could use me


To achieve your ends





When I got married


You put a price on me


Made me a commodity


And walked all over my dignity





And when I grow old


You will make me a senior


label me unfit


And treat me special





When will you ever learn


That I am me


And will always be me


Despite whatever you say or do



M V J Simon